How many thousands of conversations amongst women have I heard about how evil media is for convincing us we need to spend millions of dollars to look younger all the time? Too many. In all those conversations where we women have bemoaned this burden of pressure, I have joined in the rant against the "media" but actually haven't ever understood the complaint all that much. Maybe because my younger sister is so much taller than me, I felt more resentment than flattery when people were always underestimating my age when the two of us were together and just settled into always wishing I looked older than I did. No one ever prepared me for the experience of holding my baby girl and looking into the mirror with the two of us side by side. I look so freaking old!! Yikes! All of the sudden I'm plowing through my Oil of Olay supply desperately trying to ward off any MORE sun damage to my skin. yeesh. This is a side of myself I've never known. Seeing as how it's generally women caring for the young, how did it never occur to me that being more frequently face to face with youth might have something to do with women's obsession with trying to look young?
That said, I am feeling particularly grateful for older women today, and want to give them a special shout out and hopefully a little encouragement. When I was a college student, away from home for the first time, I felt the absence of older women from my life. I was so incredibly blessed growing up living in the same city as almost all my aunts my whole childhood, and both of my grandmothers. And I can't take for granted the fact that I got to grow up with a wonderful mom too, as so many of my friends have lost theirs. So once in college, surrounded almost only by peers and a small handful of female professors, an amazing woman, Lauretta Patterson came into my life, discipling me (and many others) for a few years and I am still benefiting from the blessing of her love. I will never forget how fun it is to make homemade pizzas or the site of her "acting out" Hebrews 4:12 with big gregarious hand motions, and I'll probably never forget that verse either thanks to her creative memorization technique! She was the first, but there were so many others. In my first full time job, I was surrounded by women of several different generations above me who taught me about coordinating professional outfits, managing blood sugar, marrying a Mexican husband, working hard, using lemons in place of salt, etc. etc. etc. I moved on to Berkeley and was particularly blessed by a dear sweet friend, Colleen, who took me under her wing and gathered a whole group of women of her generation to bless me and my friends of a younger generation just stepping into journeys those women already mastered and knew so well. And now I've moved down to San Diego, and today I just finished taking part in a bible study where I was one of the youngest women, looking up to women 10, 20, 40 years my senior who shared with me their generous love, support, and wisdom.
I drove home from the last day of that group today feeling that deep sense of my cup running over. I have had to live such a transitional life since I left home for college and gosh darn-it, I miss my Mama (and my Grammy and Gee too) sometimes! How amazing that these other women in all these other towns have woven together a tapestry of love and support - sharing their lives, their patience, their insight, their perspective with me when my mom wasn't physically present to do so. I have been so blessed. When I start to think about it from their perspective, I think about how rough it must be - having young girls like me pop in and out of their lives. Just when they think they're really connecting and developing a bond, off I go again. They must feel sometimes like all their energy is so futile. But if you are a woman [or man for that matter] who has ever felt that way, I hope you can hear my story and see how you play a part along with your peers, to spread this net for me (and I'm sure so many others) across cities and states so that I never quite feel without a good dose of mentorship and motherly love.
Thank you for touching my life in the little way that you can for the little time I'm around. Know you are working with a whole team of amazing women, and you're getting the job done! And just like I have this host of mentors who catch me each place I land, just consider us all as we flit in and out of your lives, a host of young women who really need to hear from you what life is like from where you stand. Be patient with us as we may fail to listen, as we say the same silly, presumptuous, naive things over and over again, and as we leave you wondering how we turned out or whether you got through to us. I hope I've applied at least some of the lessons you've taught me, at least I know I feel so surrounded by love. So I hope you'll keep persevering with young ladies like me - be it your neighbor, co-worker, daughter-in-law, or newcomer to your place of worship. We might act like we have it all together or know it all, we might look at you funny when you ask what a "tweet" is and why facebook is such a big deal, but we need you in our lives - even if we have our moms near by, we need all the womanly wisdom and support we can get.
Perhaps even more than I lament my sun scorched aging skin and have these silly feelings of jealousy for my 3 month old daughter's beautiful face, I am jealous of your beautiful gray hairs, the scars from meals you cooked for your family, the bent back disfigured from the little (and big) people you carried when they didn't have the strength to stand, the wrinkle lines that tell fantastic stories of strength, resilience, unfathomable love and sacrifice. Thank you for being a crucial part of my life! There are so many of you that I haven't begun to list you all in this post. But please know that I love you and I appreciate you!
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