Got a good laugh from my attempt at being a seamstress & a warm smile from making a gift for a friend

So apparently, my comfort zone really does not include mending clothing. My friend Lexie, who has been following my blog, got this crazy idea that I had skills for sewing. For the rest of you, let this story be a lesson to you. She brought over some clothes that needed some very simple mending, and we set to work. Mostly, we just had some tiny holes to repair, and managed that together with no problem. Sewing in a new hook to her bikini top, on the other hand, caused me to break out in a hideous sweat, and yes, there was some yelling at myself. After battling with my sewing machine for what felt like ages, I cheered myself victoriously when I finally sewed through that little half inch of fabric. And then I pulled it away from the sewing machine and promptly broke out in uproarious laughter because this is what it looked like on the flip side:

oh wow. I have no idea how I managed to do that. I had to take a little breather, splash my face with water, enjoy the laugh, set to ripping that mess apart and starting over. But I did persevere. You can still tell its been mended by an amateur, but in the end, we got this instead:

Lexie was kind enough to say this was good enough for her to be seen in. It doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous, which will detract from a the site of this clasp on her back :) This report is not meant to deter any other friends who might want some help mending their clothes, honestly, I'd really like some more practice to try to get better. I just want to be clear and honest, making sure you are forewarned.

In exchange for my not-so-expert sewing, Lexie shared her very savvy expert advice with me - giving me feedback about a presentation I'm preparing to give at a conference next week. She really hit the nail on the head for what was missing in my talk. Not only did she give me a helpful critique, but also she did a great job at helping me think through how to solve the problem. Just because pictures make things more interesting, and in case you're curious, here's the little handout I'll be distributing to go along with the talk:

So Lexie provided a good laugh, and my friend Erin provided a warm smile in response to another recent project of mine. [Today was a good day for girlfriends!] My dear friend Erin's birthday was this past Sunday - Happy Birthday Erin! Once upon a time, Erin and I were college roommates in an cottage right on the edge of a freshman dorm. We had an unforgettably wonderful year there together. During that year, I was in a discipleship group where I learned about how important it is to remember God's faithfulness to you, your family, and your people, which has brought you to where you are today. We see God regularly reminding Israel of how He brought them out of Egypt to assure them that if they will turn to Him, He will continue to provide for them, protect them, and be faithful to them into the future. Israel forgets this a lot, so He reminds them a lot. For us individually, it's also easy to forget how much God has provided for us, how faithful He's been in times of our own uncertainty or pain, as we step into new situations where we feel unsure. This is a lesson I have had to come back to so many times, as I, like Israel, so easily forget. Erin is one of those friends who helps me remember, in times when I get anxious, she is a constant comfort. Erin now leads one of these discipleship groups at Westmont, and I can only imagine the blessing she is to the students who get to spend that precious time with her.

A few weeks ago, I went to church and heard this great sermon about Nehemiah. Nehemiah is trying to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, to restore the nation of Israel and bring glory to God. Israel's neighbors aren't happy about the idea of this nation who has been demolished, scattered, and enslaved finding any restoration or healing - so they're out to get them. So as the men work away at the wall, they have a trowel in one hand, laying the bricks, and their sword in the other hand, prepared to fight and defend themselves from their enemy. These people have been in captivity for so long, that they have lost their language, cultural identity, and memory of their historical roots. They're trying to rebuild this city together, but they're really anxious and afraid. Nehemiah speaks words of encouragement to them, reminding them, "Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious." Later in the story, the account of their escape from Egypt is read to them, and this history of God's faithfulness brings them to corporate weeping from the incredible joy of knowing all that God had done for them. I loved how this imagery captured this lesson that I had learned in college that was so dear to me, and thought it could be an encouragement to Erin too. So when I was learning some new quilting skills like making crazy-quilts, and applique, a few experiments evolved into a little wall hanging quilt that I sent to Erin for her birthday. [she's sentimental and enjoys old-worldy type stuff like me, so I hoped it was safe to send a homemade gift] I worked on this project with my mother-in-law (see my "creating in community" post), and she suggested the applique dove. The rainbow is supposed to be an image of God's promises to us, but I like how the dove captures this memory of a moment when Noah wasn't so sure whether God was going to give them dry land to step out onto, the dove was sent out and they had to just wait, relying on nothing but their faith in God to provide for them. Now that Erin's gotten to be the first to see it, I can share my finished little project here, maybe you can also be encouraged to remember God's faithfulness in your own life - especially if you are entering a stage of uncertainty or doubt:

front

back

Completion

Baby Girl Reyes finally has a finished quilt:

I am not thrilled with how the stitching ended up framing the owls on the applique - does anyone have some ideas for how to make this look better [considering everything is already assembled]?

The quilted side is a sort of inverted family tree, making Baby Girl the center, as opposed to centering a couple and branching off their descendants. I looked around a decent amount and didn't find any similar designs, so I made it up myself. She is represented by the heart, her parents are the triangles that envelop her, and then parents envelop each individual, branching out to Manny's and my grand-parents. I couldn't leave out her aunt and uncle, who are both so important to us, so the points of their triangles meet each of ours.

The total dimensions are about 14" squared, so its not like this will cover her and keep her warm, but hopefully she'll enjoy a little treasure that reminds her of the rich love of her family that surrounds her.

On other notes, I did finish my first full read-through of my thesis and cut it down into draft one of a journal article. I slashed 85 pages, and probably still need to cut it down by 20% - ugh. It is at least a more manageable mountain to climb now. Still not finding much comfort on that project. And while I'm celebrating some completions, I might as well mention that I also finished reading "Little Bee" today. It was nice to actually find a little time to kick back and read for fun (it'd been a while). It was a really well written book that I would recommend, if you don't mind a very heartbreaking story. Thanks to Anita for lending it to me! :)

Baby Girl's Quilt - back

I've been working last and this week on an applique for the back of my baby girl's quilt. Here it is:

Not my future son-in-law & other reflections on crazy old testament stories

For part of my creative energies today, I want to spend a little time reflecting on some reading I've been doing. After countless years of failing to read my bible on any sort of consistent basis, my husband has recently invited me into his morning reading ritual so that I have finally gotten a regular taste of scripture again. Not only has this been a great way for us to spend time together each morning, its given us both lots of food for thought - or on some mornings, just shock and awe. There is some crazy stuff in the bible, I must say! And now that I have a little woman growing in my belly, it has me considering some possibilities that never crossed my mind before. I will likely have a daughter who wants to get married someday, and there's a good chance we might clash in our opinions about an appropriate husband. So before she even makes it out of the womb, I would like to point out two character types I really hope she will avoid. Apparently they were men God saw right to use for His purposes, and they both did a lot of good for Israel, but that still doesn't make them right for my daughter. [side note: Baby Girl just started squirming quite vigorously in my belly as I am typing this - do you think she knows what I'm writing about?]

Not-son-in-law #1: Gideon (Judges 6-8) Our first introduction to this guy is when an angel of the Lord appears to him and refers to him as "you mighty warrior" - seems like a good, respectable start. But right out the gate, the guy is whining back at the angel, "if God is with us, why are bad things happening to us?"

[back story: the land had had rest for 40 years after Deborah judged the people of Israel and used Barak to destroy their enemy, the king of Canaan. (side note to back story: Barak is a good leader, but he insists on Deborah's assistance in battle, and ultimately another woman gets the real glory for their victory. I'm personally impressed with how another Barak, Obama that is, has elevated women to positions of power lately - through supreme court and other nominations. Maybe there's something in the name that makes these guys so supportive of us women?) But then, as they do, the Israelites start doing evil again, so God punishes them by handing them over to Midean for 7 years. Midean doesn't exactly treat Israel as they'd prefer, they become impoverished, and cry out to God for help. God is now responding to their cry by raising up Gideon to fight for them, even though they don't exactly deserve any help.]

God gives Gideon a command, but Gideon responds, "but I can't do it." God says He'll do it for him, Gideon comes back and asks for a sign. An angel sets some food on fire, Gideon is finally satisfied. So God asks Gideon to offer a sacrifice to Him, Gideon's too afraid of peer pressure. And so it goes with Gideon, who despite his whining, excuses, and constant fear, is indeed used by God to win great victories for Israel and restore God as Israel's god, over false idols. Of course, at the end of his life, Gideon makes an idol and Israel prostitutes itself to it and it is a snare to Gideon and his family (including 70 sons, is that reason enough not to want him for my daughter? that's just too many kids). And as soon as he dies, Israel fully relapses and is back to worshipping another god instead.

In summary, Gideon fails to recognize how God is working in Israel, whines, makes constant excuses, and has pretty much zero courage. Sounds like a pretty wimpy marriage prospect, and a fool to boot. Kudos to him for managing to find "many wives," I just don't envy all his mothers-in-law. So - we're looking for a guy with a little more courage, which brings me to . . .

Not-son-in-law #2: Samson (Judges 13-16) Samson lacks nothing in the courage department, he is on the opposite end of the spectrum from Gideon all together. Again, things start out well, he comes to us through an angel of the Lord as well, who instructs his mother to raise him as a nazirite - a man dedicated to the Lord's service. But as he grows up, he puts Narcissus's vanity to shame. This guy would walk around with a t-shirt proclaiming, "I'm awesome," but he's probably too busy finding excuses to keep his shirt off to show off his chest. He demands to receive what pleases him, is cocky an conniving - using riddles to mock those he doesn't like, and he is weak for the ladies (especially the Philistine, aka enemy, women). Everything this guy does has to do with getting a wife or prostitute he wants for himself, and killing people who get in his way. Turns out the people he kills are Israel's enemy and somehow this counts as judging Israel for 20 years, but this guy's intentions are hardly anything to include in a wedding toast.

I guess what I'm looking for here is some appropriate humility, trust in God to use him well, and fidelity. I guess these traits make up for a fairly tall order, so I should start praying for this guy now.

On a totally unrelated note, the last crazy biblical story to reflect on real quick has to do with the Philistines again. In I Samuel 5, the Philistines capture the ark of God from the Israelites and put it in their temple next to their idol, Dagon. They leave it there over night, go to it the next morning and find that Dagon has fallen on his face to the ground before the ark of the Lord. They put him upright, but the next day, same thing happens again. They find Dagon fallen before the ark, this time, but this time his head and his hands have fallen off and only the trunk remains. This puts a whole new spin on Luke 19:40, which says that if we do not worship God, the rocks will cry out - apparently even if those rocks have been shaped to form an idol for another religion. wow.

This story brought back an image I shot in a photograph once. Several years ago, I studied abroad in Sri Lanka. One day we journeyed to some Buddhist holy sites during one of the largest religious festivals of the year. We were surrounded by swarms of worshipers carrying flowers and other offerings.

[side bar: I can't avoid recounting here, that one worshiper was a little girl carrying some large flowers about half the size of her whole body. As she walked along the path, a gang of monkeys came out of the trees, slapped her in the face, and snatched the flowers out of her hand to take back to the side of the road where they boldly proceeded to tear into the flowers for a hearty snack, while the little girl stared on in paralyzed astonishment. One might interpret this and say that monkeys [prior to this trip, my favorite animals] are good Christians, preventing idol worship or something, but we also witnessed monkeys descending from another tree, swiping my friend Chase's bible out of his hands, and running back up the tree to divide sections of the bible amongst themselves to eat, as pages of Revelations rained down upon us. So mostly, monkeys are just mischievous and probably opposed to organized religion all together. I decided my new favorite animal is the elephant.]

Anyways . . . as we walked around these holy sites, I caught a glimpse of some stone figures off in the back behind one of the dagobas (A dagoba is a dome enshrining sacred relics or the bodily remains of the Buddha, or articles used by Him like the alms bowl and other objects of veneration). I realize the figure might not technically be considered an idol, but it clearly was intended to be a sacred object at least, and I wonder if this is something like what Dagon looked like after he got up close and personal with the ark of the Lord:

No head [I think I found the head near by, but not close enough to capture in the shot] and no hands. Uncanny resemblance isn't it? Anyways - crazy story, and the Old Testament is just full of them. If you haven't read it before, or in a while, you should check it out.

A few flops and a little progress

The point of this blog has been about getting out of my comfort zone and being creative. One comfort that is hard to let go of is only reporting on experiments with happy endings. I want to be able to say that every risk I take pays off, predictably teaches a good lesson - but that's not how things really work. There's a reason we stay inside our comfort zones, they are safe and predictable. So as an act of purposeful discomfort, I have to share that I have stepped out of my comfort zone a couple times recently and have not been so happy about the results.

1) Revising my thesis into an article. ugh. My thesis was done in May, I could have sat right back down to trim and fine tune it while my head was in the game, but I was too overwhelmed by having just found out I was pregnant, trying to graduate, finishing up my field placement, graduating Manny, hosting family, preparing to move, etc. etc. etc. that I just pushed it off. Then pregnancy exhaustion and the compulsion to spend as much time with Bay Area friends as possible before having to leave overwhelmed me when things "died down" a bit, so I still had no energy or time to devote to the project. One excuse after another has brought me to now, five months later. After all of this procrastination, and my internal deadline of November looming before me, I finally opened up that gargantuan Word file on a coffee date with my husband last week and started to tackle it. Five or six hours later, I had cut my page count down by half, but still had over 50 pages to trim and lots of fine tuning to do. Contrary to my hope that taking the first steps into the project would get me back into the swing of things and I could find motivation and joy in the writing again, I still don't want to deal with this beast. Again, I forced myself to spend at least one hour on it yesterday, and still I want to find more excuses to put it off or just abandon the project. It is honestly taking the motivation of this blog project to keep me at it - in hopes that maybe someday the discomfort will pay off. For now, it is not happening and I mostly just feel discouraged.

2) Attending the continental breakfast. Once upon a time I lived in a magical place called the University Village. It was filled with a diverse population of international families and couples, each connected to one or two Berkeley students. It had beautiful walkways that strolled through well kept landscaping, kid filled playgrounds, and barbeque picnic areas. One of the best parts about the Village was the incredible residential staff, that we came to know and love, who put on all sorts of creative events to encourage and build community amongst those of us who lived there. There were bouncy houses, Village-wide potlucks, sidewalk chalk drawing competitions, petting zoo's, carnival booths, and during the last holiday season - a gym that was completely covered in wrapping paper. See my friend Anita showing off our handy work in hanging said wrapping paper:

Village events were guaranteed to put a smile on your face, show you a good time, provide you with some good food, and probably introduce you to some fun new neighbors that you would later bump into as you strolled along the aforementioned walkways. We have moved to a new city, but are still in campus housing. Yesterday, they advertised that today they would be having a continental breakfast for residents. Seeing as how all the neighbors we have met so far have already moved away, and I like free food, this seemed like a good opportunity to hopefully meet someone new - even if this required a bit of courage for my shy self. After fighting a benedryl-hangover to get myself out of bed on time to attend, Manny and I showed up to find mere dregs of disappointing mini-bagels in a cramped office space entry way. There was a handful of other people present, but like us, the descended on the food like a host of locusts and just as swiftly flew off. I don't think I even made eye contact with another human being. Attempt at building some community amongst our neighbors: fail. 

So - there you have it, two risks that haven't yielded any fruit, trudging out of my comfort zone doesn't always pay off. But I just can't leave you on a totally downer note just cause I feel a little down about these things. After weeks and weeks of brainstorming, researching, reading, planning, and practicing, I have finally made a little progress on the tiny quilt I wanted to make for my baby girl. I picked out the fabrics, pushed through several mistakes that had to be re-sewn, but ultimately finished piecing together the quilt top in one sitting (albeit a rather long sitting). It came out a bit wonky (this is my new favorite quilting term), and I still can't nail all the points of my triangles, but I rather like it just the same - and its good to see my little vision come into being. Without further ado, here's the quilt at its current stage:

Creating in Community

Last week, my husband had a conference to attend. I tagged along to stay with him at his family's house while he commuted to and from his sessions so we could pretend he was just going off to work and not out of town, leaving me at home and lonely. I can imagine that this plan would bewilder many women who are thinking at this point, "isn't being stranded with your in-laws worse than having a few days at home to yourself?" Thing is, I have this miraculous and rare blessing of having incredible in-laws, so the week was a total treat. My mother-in-law, Nora, in particular is a special treasure. I am so grateful to have fallen in love with my husband for many reasons, including the fact that it means that I got to know his mom, who I consider one of my best friends. My own mother is amazing herself, and I often dream of the three of us hanging out, being best buddies together - but geographic divides make such things too complicated - which is a shame because we would have the greatest time together! We're all introverted, crafty, and curious.

With Manny gone all day, Nora and I spent some good quality one-on-one craft bonding time. I got the benefit of having her experienced eyes look over my shoulder while I pinned, sewed, and stitched, giving me really helpful little pointers along the way. We also surmounted the gargantuan task of deciphering how to work my sewing machine properly (apparently the knotting and sticking I was experiencing wasn't normal! who would have thought?) with only the guidance of our own intuition and the world's thickest and least useful book of instructions ever. Sewing is so much more pleasant now that we got that figured out! In exchange for her tutelage, she got to see the scary task-master side of my personality, a side I hide from as many people as I can but will never be forgotten by the likes of my father, who employed me for a summer only to find that my "managing up" skills were more than he bargained for, or my friend Emily, who's friendship it is a miracle I still possess after an incident in college I refer to as the "scorched swans." Perhaps it is vain of me, but I would like to think that I have grown a bit in grace, compassion, and interpersonal interaction since my previous grievances. Nora is still speaking to me, but she is a very nice person, so who knows.

We embarked together on a project to create some party favors, which I look forward to posting photos of, but will have to wait for a few weeks until their owners receive them. The project concept started out so simple, but over the course of three days it evolved and grew, perhaps slightly out of control. But this wasn't an entirely bad thing. It was certainly more work than we signed up for, but that's because there was as much creativity in the process as the product. Since I have started this project of cultivating creativity, this was the first time I got to do something creative with someone else. Of course this is not the first time in my life, but it was the first time since I've been trying to be reflective on the experience in this way. Creating things with others is quite a different experience. You feed off each other and help expand each other's horizons and vision for what you are capable of.

I remember watching this exchange reverberate between my sister and I growing up. My mother set the precedent of giving useful and appreciated, yet homemade gifts to our teachers each Christmas. Each year it was a new, elaborate project that was as much fun to make as to give. As we got older, my sister and I started making gifts for our friends as well. One of us would buy journals for our friends, but add quotes or verses to several of the pages for inspiration. The other of us would take note, and then step it up a notch by collaging photos to the covers. I wish I could remember more of our projects, but I can't forget that feeling of looking down the hallway in amazement at my sister sitting there creating something spectacular for a friend that was a spin off of something I had recently created. I imagine some of our friends would have preferred we spent a few more bucks and a few less hours on their gifts, to those of you - I am sorry if you felt like we were being cheap - but to my sister, I am grateful for the inspiration!

For Nora and I, this meant a few extra trips to stores for new supplies, later hours into the night, and roping our men into the project to make sure it could actually reach completion (thanks Leo, Eddie, and Manny!). Just a simple, small suggestion from one to another often took the whole project to a whole new level. It also meant that though we set out to add a little personal touch to a simple favor and wound up with a pile of gifts we are both feeling very reluctant about letting anyone else actually take away from us because we like them so much. I will have to settle for keeping only the pictures I take of them and the joy I hope someone else can hopefully get out of what we made.

Creating in community not only allows for growth in one another's imaginations, but also in your relationship. During the hours we worked, we had ample time to talk, getting to know each other better and share our trials and triumphs with one another (an increasingly rare luxury for Americans according to recent studies). We also had several opportunities to edify one another through pointers and praise about our work. And isn't it interesting that the world that we live in was also created in community? God the Father sends forth the Spirit, sweeping over the face of the waters. And John 1 tells us how the Word (Jesus) was with God, and all things came into being through Him (Jesus). As God remarked that His creation was good, I wonder if part of that utterance was a patting on the back of the Spirit and the Son, encouraging them for the good work in the part that they each played, a sort of "go team!" after a good game. I wonder how much of the amazing intricacies we discover in creation were matters of creative suggestion the three of them made to one another in the process, "oh wow, I love what you did there on that fish's fin, I wonder if I could incorporate something similar into this butterflies wing?" or, "hey, that man you created is pretty wonderful, well done, but we sure enjoy the relationship we have amongst each other, don't you think he might be even better off if he weren't alone? what if we made a woman so he could enjoy a glimpse of the communion we delight in, in one another?" We were created in community, for community. And it was good.

By way of quick follow up to my last post, the baby shower we helped throw last weekend went well. I hope the mother-to-be felt loved and honored. The 7-layer-dip I made for the shower was unfortunately pretty disappointing - something didn't quite work about the guacamole layer and I couldn't figure out how to redeem it. Fortunately, people seemed to enjoy the spinach artichoke dip more - no art to that one, just threw some things in a casserole dish according to a recipe and baked it, hard to mess that one up. I got to give the mother-to-be a nursing cover I made for her - this was the mysterious first sewing project I created on my sewing machine, mentioned a few posts ago. My apologies Earline, as Nora hadn't looked over my shoulder while I sewed just yet, so I hope it holds together ok when you use it, and that you don't look too closely at the stitching, which isn't the prettiest. I hope it still serves you well! Here are some pics of how it turned out:

inside of nursing cover (see fuzzy pink pockets for storage and for baby's tactile stimulation) and carrying case laid on top

outside of nursing cover with neck strap, carrying case on top

carrying case

Also this week, I've made two new recipes. Caprese pannini's - which weren't exactly an original idea, but I made them with some personal touches and was immensely pleased with how delightful something so simple can taste! I'm also sure that they tasted better than Finn's "grilled cheesus" this week on Glee, even if they had no super powers. That dude is weird. I also made red beans and rice for the first time (from Cooking Light, January 2009). The flavors took me back to memories of Houston and the red beans and rice my dad used to love to get downtown. Despite the fact that it was a bit spicier than my weak palette could handle, Manny's reaction was satisfaction enough, "is this what Cajun food tastes like?" - "yes" - "why have I never had Cajun food before? this is amazing!" I think I'll have to build up my spice tolerance and make this recipe again sometime!