Long Distance Grandparenting: Segment 1

A couple weeks ago I posted about media that keeps me entertained while I'm nursing and got some stellar suggestions - thanks y'all! So here's another post about my parenting challenges, time to share more advice and suggestions! please!!

I was spoiled rotten. I grew up in the same city with BOTH sets of my grandparents, all four living to this day. It would have been a strange month to go without seeing all four of them at least once, if not several times. They celebrated my every birthday (even my sister's birthdays - by giving me gifts then too so I wouldn't feel too neglected); attended most school plays, "grandparents' days" at school, sports games; attended more graduations than any human being should be compelled to go to, etc. etc. etc. When my mom couldn't pick me up from school one year, I just walked to my grandmother's house from school and hung out there for a few hours until my mom could come get me. If I was sick or my parents were out of town, it was to "grandmother's house we go." They were so fully integrated into my everyday life because they had geographical proximity, and because they were really intentional about loving on me (and all their grandkids and great-grandkids even). 

Close to a decade ago, it was estimated that roughly 50% of grandparents lived at least 200 miles away from their grandkids. That statistic is presently precise for our family - one set of Sofia's grandparents are 110 miles away, the other is about 1,500 miles away. In a couple months, one set will be 3,000 miles away, the other set will be 2,000 miles away. We're not exactly having a simple casual family dinner all together any time soon. 

Seeing as how, according to Piaget, Sofia doesn't even know that I exist when I'm not in front of her (the developmental milestone of object permanence - supposedly arrives around 8 months), trying to figure out how to form an emotional bond between her and people she sees very rarely is a challenge I regularly chew on. I wish I already had this problem mastered, but I don't. I welcome anyone's advice they might have. 

A few things we are doing already include:

1) Photos of the day: I don't send them religiously every day, but several times a week at least. My hope is that this way they [grandparents plus her aunt and uncle] can see her grow over time and get a glimpse of what life is like in her day to day. (this blog also serves a bit of that purpose, but the photos help for the less literary-inclined family members)

2) Hospitality: We do whatever we can to make coming to visit us accessible and joyful. San Diego is not a bad town to live in to help draw people out your way! Actually having a bedroom for guests some day might also help. Our parents have been very gracious so far to sleep on our couch and air mattress.

3) Facetime: Being able to converse face to face really enhances relationship - as so much of communication is non-verbal, and still photos sure can't capture Sofia's cute spazzy behavior, skype-type tools are just priceless. Here are a few snapshots of Sofia doing FaceTime with her "Big Mama" the other day.  

What were ways your grandparents developed a relationship with you and showed you love? 

If you are a grandparent, what have your own children done well to help your grandkid bond with you?

 If you are a parent with kids, what are some of the ways you've found to help facilitate the grand-bond? 

Not in a position to answer these questions but know some helpful experts? Please send a link to this blog to them so they can help me out. Thanks! 

A Day in the Life of Sofia

A few friends have been asking me what a typical day looks like for me now that I have little Sofia in my life. I tend to bumble when I try to answer, so I thought I might try to actually think it through for a minute and share it in case anyone else is curious what motherhood looks like - at our house anyways. The thing is, part of the fun of a newborn is that there really isn't a "typical" day because she's changing so much all the time. But I'll try to provide a rough idea.

Somewhere between 5-7am we hear her waking up and go into her room, dragging our feet and rubbing out eyes, wishing we could have had another hour or so of sleep. But when we enter her room to find this, we are much happier to greet the day:

Daddy changes her while I get ready to feed her. She gets her first breakfast, I enjoy my novel of the moment, and usually by the time we're done, Dad has coffee and breakfast ready for us. We enjoy breakfast and devotionals together, and Sofia usually gets her second breakfast somewhere during that window. Breakfast hour usually looks some combination of the following:

Daddy's arms

Mama's lap

If I'm lucky, Manny doesn't have to leave right away and I can get a shower in. Showers are such a sweet luxury these days! [don't worry, I do get them most days - I just appreciate them alot more] Once Daddy is off to work, we are usually into third breakfast [my baby puts hobits to shame!], and hopefully a walk. 

We enjoy going to the park that is filled with fun things to see: flowers and plants, other kids at the playground, old ladies in a dance class under the trees, old men walking around the baseball field, dogs at the dog park, and friendly parks and red employees keeping up the grounds. Once each week we get a special treat of taking an extra long walk with Aunt Lexie in a new adventurous place each time we go out. We also walk to the grocery store sometimes to pick up things we've run out of. Sofia is very popular at Vons! This all makes for a very full morning, so usually by this time its about time to head home for some lunch - Sofia first, and Mommy whenever she's lucky enough. We veg out to something on Netflix watch instantly and enjoy a mid-day break. 

Afternoons are a blur in my mind. There really isn't much structure. But in addition to lots more feedings and various developmental exercises, it involves things like: 

• playing with our animal friends:

Edmund and I are great pals 

Pooh-Bee and Kitty are always fighting for my attention, its exhausting keeping the peace!

• Tummy Time 

• Singing to her birdies

•  Havin' a chat with her best friend, the cutest looking baby in town [that would be Sofia, in the mirror, but she doesn't know that its herself she's smiling at just yet]

• Working on our sitting-up muscles in the Bumbo

• Going for a swim in one of her two adorable swim suits [thank you Aunt Lauren!]

• Making a trip to the Farmer's Market if it's Thursday

• And hopefully taking a nap [Mom too, if she's lucky]

I might squeeze in some of my own activities if Sofia is willing - be it blog updates like this [she's sleeping on my chest as I speak], managing our finances, keeping up with friends, studying something of interest, learning about how to be a parent, etc. For how I keep myself busy while I'm nursing, see my earlier post on media I'm grateful for. 

By the time Dad gets home, we're worn out, but very happy to see him. He enjoys catching up with Sofia who loves to tell him all about her day:

And if Mom can tear herself away, she gets dinner ready. Once everyone is well fed, depending on the day, we might have to hurry and get the kitchen all clean so we can transform it for bath time, which Sofia has come to love:

After I nurse her to sleep, Manny and I are usually so transfixed that we can barely bring ourselves to put her down in her own room, but we somehow manage, and if we're lucky we can take a deep breath and relax for an hour or so with a mug of decaf coffee, before we drag ourselves to bed and hope we get enough rest to do it all again the next day.  

Various weekdays have their special events, and most weekends are full with visitors. Somewhere in there, dishes get cleaned and laundry gets washed. Life is just a fun new adventure with little Sofia around!