A few flops and a little progress

The point of this blog has been about getting out of my comfort zone and being creative. One comfort that is hard to let go of is only reporting on experiments with happy endings. I want to be able to say that every risk I take pays off, predictably teaches a good lesson - but that's not how things really work. There's a reason we stay inside our comfort zones, they are safe and predictable. So as an act of purposeful discomfort, I have to share that I have stepped out of my comfort zone a couple times recently and have not been so happy about the results.

1) Revising my thesis into an article. ugh. My thesis was done in May, I could have sat right back down to trim and fine tune it while my head was in the game, but I was too overwhelmed by having just found out I was pregnant, trying to graduate, finishing up my field placement, graduating Manny, hosting family, preparing to move, etc. etc. etc. that I just pushed it off. Then pregnancy exhaustion and the compulsion to spend as much time with Bay Area friends as possible before having to leave overwhelmed me when things "died down" a bit, so I still had no energy or time to devote to the project. One excuse after another has brought me to now, five months later. After all of this procrastination, and my internal deadline of November looming before me, I finally opened up that gargantuan Word file on a coffee date with my husband last week and started to tackle it. Five or six hours later, I had cut my page count down by half, but still had over 50 pages to trim and lots of fine tuning to do. Contrary to my hope that taking the first steps into the project would get me back into the swing of things and I could find motivation and joy in the writing again, I still don't want to deal with this beast. Again, I forced myself to spend at least one hour on it yesterday, and still I want to find more excuses to put it off or just abandon the project. It is honestly taking the motivation of this blog project to keep me at it - in hopes that maybe someday the discomfort will pay off. For now, it is not happening and I mostly just feel discouraged.

2) Attending the continental breakfast. Once upon a time I lived in a magical place called the University Village. It was filled with a diverse population of international families and couples, each connected to one or two Berkeley students. It had beautiful walkways that strolled through well kept landscaping, kid filled playgrounds, and barbeque picnic areas. One of the best parts about the Village was the incredible residential staff, that we came to know and love, who put on all sorts of creative events to encourage and build community amongst those of us who lived there. There were bouncy houses, Village-wide potlucks, sidewalk chalk drawing competitions, petting zoo's, carnival booths, and during the last holiday season - a gym that was completely covered in wrapping paper. See my friend Anita showing off our handy work in hanging said wrapping paper:

Village events were guaranteed to put a smile on your face, show you a good time, provide you with some good food, and probably introduce you to some fun new neighbors that you would later bump into as you strolled along the aforementioned walkways. We have moved to a new city, but are still in campus housing. Yesterday, they advertised that today they would be having a continental breakfast for residents. Seeing as how all the neighbors we have met so far have already moved away, and I like free food, this seemed like a good opportunity to hopefully meet someone new - even if this required a bit of courage for my shy self. After fighting a benedryl-hangover to get myself out of bed on time to attend, Manny and I showed up to find mere dregs of disappointing mini-bagels in a cramped office space entry way. There was a handful of other people present, but like us, the descended on the food like a host of locusts and just as swiftly flew off. I don't think I even made eye contact with another human being. Attempt at building some community amongst our neighbors: fail. 

So - there you have it, two risks that haven't yielded any fruit, trudging out of my comfort zone doesn't always pay off. But I just can't leave you on a totally downer note just cause I feel a little down about these things. After weeks and weeks of brainstorming, researching, reading, planning, and practicing, I have finally made a little progress on the tiny quilt I wanted to make for my baby girl. I picked out the fabrics, pushed through several mistakes that had to be re-sewn, but ultimately finished piecing together the quilt top in one sitting (albeit a rather long sitting). It came out a bit wonky (this is my new favorite quilting term), and I still can't nail all the points of my triangles, but I rather like it just the same - and its good to see my little vision come into being. Without further ado, here's the quilt at its current stage: